In any relationship, establishing rules is important to ensure that both partners are on the same page regarding expectations, boundaries, behaviors, and sexual activities. This is even more true for open relationships (also known as ethical non-monogamy or consensual non-monogamy), which allow couples to explore other relationships or dates while maintaining a primary relationship that comes first.
However, it’s easy for this type of non-traditional relationship to fall apart if couples aren’t clear on how their open relationships should work. This is why it’s important to establish open relationship rules that can be reviewed and negotiated as needed.
Ideally, these rules should be established early on in the relationship to prevent any miscommunication or confusion down the road. “Open relationship rules are a way to maintain trust while exploring new experiences in a loving and supportive manner,” says Sampreeti Das, MA, MFT, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor.
She adds that couples should also be clear on what counts as cheating — which isn’t just having a sexual relationship with someone else, but lying to one another about who they are seeing and how often. It’s also a good idea to set a time each week for checking in with each other, which can be used to process emotions or make any adjustments to negotiated boundaries.
Finally, it’s important to talk with your partner about how they would feel about friends and family knowing that you have an open relationship. Many people have a very strong attachment to monogamy and may find it difficult to talk about a non-monogamy relationship with others. If that’s the case, it could be best to keep your open relationship private and limit interactions to close friends and family members who are already supportive of it. How to establish open relationship rules
